American culture on dating

I haven’t dated an American in more than six years.

That says less about American men and more about my dating preferences than anything else. My nationality, however, is a whole different story but this wasn’t always the case.

Something about my dating habits and my dating goals weren’t adding up, so I set out to remove any obvious obstacles from my mission.

Of course I did all the self-reflective stuff — ate, prayed, loved, started seeing a therapist on a weekly basis.

Those boys grow up to desire marriage for themselves, without guilt from potential mates and without coaxing from external influences.

I knew what I wanted, or at least what I was supposed to want, and I thought I was clear with my intentions when it came to dating.And in being realistic about my partner expectations, I had to acknowledge that my dating pool needed a major revamp.I had exclusively dated Black men up to that point, finding commonality in the fact that we were both Black and both American-born, but my perception of marriage and relationships had undoubtedly been shaped by my West African father and my American Baby-Boomer Uncles.Whatever we attribute this to, many Black millennial men do not consider marriage to be a personal milestone.This sounds something like, “Sure I’ll get married, if I ever come across the right woman” or “Marriage ain’t for everybody” or my personal favorite, “Marriage is just a piece of paper.” If we applied the same philosophy to any of the other milestones acknowledged in our society, it would sound pretty absurd.

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