Dating a guy with 3 kids
Liking her kids isn't the same as raising her kids. Be ready for rapid-fire spontaneity or an ironclad calendar. There is nothing more beautiful than a joyful child.
You might have some really great ideas about how you think she could do things, and you might have some strong ideas about how children should behave. You're at the mercy of custody agreements, parent-teacher conferences, skinned knees, stuffy noses, and — buy her wine for this one — lice. Throw everything you know about Sunday Funday out the window.
So yesterday, Deesha and I sat down to lunch–we ate our favorite Thai food and discussed our not so favorite topic–co-parenting through problems and over obstacles.
I asked her what six things should women know when dating men with children. If a man says, my child’s mother won’t let me see my kids, dig deeper, because while the family court system is broken, sometimes men say they aren’t allowed see their children when they haven’t sought parenting time through a judge.
I also didn’t have to budget and sacrifice for others, so I could easily drop dollars on designer bags, shoes and clothes–if I opted to spend the day at the shopping mall.
It's probably best you move along if either of you wants something long-term.2. Instead of pretending you know what it's like, ask questions and be humble. It's also a real question that single moms actually hear. Don't be surprised — or rude — when she hasn't heard the latest from Beyoncé or seen any movies.I “met” Deesha Phillywaw through her book Co-parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in Two Households After Divorce.I wish I read her work before I became a co-parent.Glazed old-fashioned might be the closest thing to a Bloody Mary you both can get. Speaking of Bloody Marys, hangovers aren't an option anymore. Be supportive if she complains about him, but whatever you do, don't talk badly about him in front of the kids (it's actually included in many custody agreements; don't make a sticky situation stickier). She can't just see how the night goes and stay out as long as she might want. Handling what life serves is her modus operandi — she's been handling it since before you came along, and she's prepared to handle it if you leave. Pamper her because you admire her Terminator strength to always keep going.13. If you want to whisk her away for a romantic weekend, offer to help with the parental logistics so she's relaxed on her trip, not distracted with worry. It's not about being in your 20s or your 30s or your 40s; it's about keeping it together during a living room performance of 9. It's very likely he will be a large part of her life for at least the next 18 years, so get used to it. Babysitters are people too, and good ones are a hot commodity. If she told the babysitter she'd be home by 11, make sure she's home by 11! Goldfish crackers and Band-aids are never far away. Hand sanitizer, Chapstick, a small dinosaur, some crayons, or a flashlight?