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"When a person remains in a relationship long after it has become obvious it's time to go, he or she usually has some unhealthy and unconscious reasons for staying," says Burgo.Look at this (and any breakup, really) as a healing opportunity.Many of us hear the word "narcissist" and automatically think about a self-absorbed person who constantly talks about himself—and yes, that's a very irritating (but small) part of it.A narcissist, by definition, is, "Someone with a grandiose sense of self and little or no ability to empathize with others," says Joseph Burgo, Ph.Nobody wants that, so here's how to spot narcissists out there in the dating wild. "While they may appear charming when you first meet them, and may even appear very interested, they do so only to elicit your admiration and to build themselves up in your eyes," Burgo says.Level One: How to Spot a Narcissist Lack of interest and self-absorption are two big ones, but rarely does anyone—narcissist or not—show those traits on a first date (and if they do, run, girl. It can be very difficult to know if he's simply charming because he's into you (normal), or he's charming because he's into you being into him (narcissist).Are you trying to recover the idealized early days when it all felt so perfect?
Otherwise, the longer you stay, the more you're likely to make excuses or fall victim to his flattery.
Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievements (the trophy complex), exciting and envy-worthy activities, excessive focus on personal issues and concerns, excessive focus on looks and materialism, and putting others down to show one’s own superiority. Charming and Romantic – But with a Catch Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship, when they’re trying to win you over. Also, while you have time to think things through and he loves you so couples therapy can be suggested, or just counseling to help him deal with his narcissism.
Like a master salesperson, they use charisma to get your attention, flattery to make you feel special, seduction (flirting, gifts, dinners, get-aways, sex, etc.) to lift you off your feet, and persuasion to get you to give them what they want. Though I will tell you know that some Narcissists are STUBBORN and them thinking they are always in the right won't help.
Burgo has a little tough love to share: "Don't deceive yourself that you can make him change.
If you're looking back on the early days of your romantic relationship and wondering how to recover that bliss, forget about it," says Burgo."Ask yourself why you want to remain in this relationship.