Dating to marriage time line
I don't think there is any real book to prepare you for divorce, as each person's experience is so unique.But as you're headed down the aisle — that's the court aisle — of divorce, there are some things it wouldn't hurt to know as you sever your formerly "forever" relationship.I’m a believer that couples can have independent timetables from those stated above depending on their circumstances, but partners need to have a mutual agreement and understanding about the future timeline of the relationship in order to survive- and that agreement needs to be upheld.However, if you are asking yourself “when is he going to propose already?! You’ve probably picked up on an inequity in he relationship, and one (or more) of your needs is not being met.If not, you may find yourself like Jennifer Aniston’s character in Bruce Almighty (she repeats this long-suffering role in “He’s Just not that Into You”) whose boyfriend needs literal divine intervention from God to get him to propose.In real life God doesn’t make such obvious house calls.Many couples are choosing to cohabit as an alternative to or dress rehearsal for marriage.Research is mixed as to whether couples who live together prior to marriage are as satisfied as those that waited until after marriage.
Currently I co-run a longitudinal study of marriage and family development, started in 2008 and ongoing, and the answers couples gave me about their engagement ranged from several months to several years.
Most say living together prior to getting engaged has less promising outcomes, but this might not reflect changing cultural acceptance.
If not, are you ready or willing to take a stand for what you want?
Now that I'm nearing the end of the divorce process (it's a marathon — not a sprint!
), I'm starting to reflect on the things I wish I had done differently or, perhaps, the things I wish I had known before getting a divorce, period.