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And then it started to look like a slightly better idea to take part in it than to not take part in it. So I will just say that Alicorn and Mike are probably the best couple I have ever seen.
I have lived with them for seven months now and never once have I seen them get in a fight (I know there is way more to being a couple than not fighting but I’m trying to think of objective numerical evidence I can report here beyond “if you know them, you know what I mean”).
I cannot think of a single problem I have ever had with Mike, which I guess is also sort of incredulous-stare and which exceeds my normal standards for roommates let alone roommates-whose-three-girlfriends-I-am-dating.
None of those three people have had any noticeable-from-the-outside jealousy about any of the others.
But more than that, I sympathize with his response.
It’s like the difference between your association for Chinese people being Fu Manchu versus your association being your neighbor John Chang who speaks perfect English and has a job at Google.
This was my experience with poly people upon moving to Berkeley.
Alicorn makes a big deal about poly-hacking and having to valiantly overcome some sort of strong natural tendency to switch from monogamous to polyamorous relationships. It just seemed like once the entire culture was no longer uniting to tell me polyamory was something bizarre and different and special, it wasn’t. I didn’t even remember how weird it seemed to everyone else until the last few weeks. Then someone commented on a blog post of mine with something about polyamory, spelling it poly-“amor”-y the whole time, as if there couldn’t possibly be any real love involved. But the singular of anecdote is “enough data to disprove a universal negative claim”.
They both seem to love and appreciate each other just as much if not more as they did when I first met them.
They both go way out of their way to make the other happy, and although part of this is just that they’re both very nice people who go out of their way to make everybody happy, I think there’s got to be some love involved there too.