Married man dating divorcee
The problem is that you can then stumble into things without the helpful brutality of an upfront ‘yes’ or ‘no’.If modern dating is awful because it’s like a series of very unromantic job interviews, the great thing about it is that it makes you think, right at the beginning, whether you’d like to spend a long time with the person or not.Did anyone seriously care about the sorts of things they talked about? Or at least there was no reason to be smug about being stuck at home, exclusively torturing your spouse. Still, people seemed to be finding it exciting, and I couldn’t help feeling that I was missing out. There were countless stories about friends of friends finding love online.Extreme bikini waxing, the pros and cons of sex with an ex, and whether to pay for their own dinner? Now and then we’d hear about friends trying internet dating or going on singles holidays. When, in 2005, I finally found myself single again, the whole romantic terrain had shifted. I signed up with an agency and started getting messages back ten minutes later.Undeterred, I weeded out messages from anyone who looked like trouble – ‘At last! To someone who’s been involved in an eight-and-a-half-year argument, such simple schemes look good. All the people I met were pleasant and not at all psychopathic, but there was the unalterable fact that I would never have arranged to spend a whole lunchtime with them if I’d seen and spoken to them first.They just weren’t people I’d have singled out in the real world.
Occasionally we would watch Sex and the City together (although, like everything else, it tended to cause arguments). Those women’s lives seemed to have nothing to do with mine. There was clearly something going on out there – it was just hard to work out exactly what. Being divorced with a child didn’t have to mean sitting at home crying into a tub of ice cream while watching movies starring Colin Firth.In spite of that, we stuck it out for eight and a half years.This can perhaps be put down to our mutual love of our child, and our extreme stubbornness.The best idea was surely to leave it to chance, and, meanwhile, to try to be happy being single.It’s a difficult strategy to find fault with, but not foolproof.