The rule book for dating

We’re debriefing about an amazing date I had the night before. I thought I might find some gem of wisdom to explain why I am still single. “Do you suspect you’re doing something wrong, but are not sure what.” YES, again. Let me say upfront that I am not setting out to bash this book.(Oh and also, according to the book, this blog post is the kiss of death when it comes to dating. This blog is all about getting real about uncomfortable topics that take us out of our comfort zones- dating being one of them. ) PS- Thanks to Girlfriends #1 and #2 for inspiring this post…and for being awesome friends with great dating advice Want more gutsy content delivered straight to your inbox twice a month?One of the biggest rules about The Rules is not to talk about The Rules. Be sure to sign up for my FREE #Get Gutsy e-newsletter filled with inspiration, ideas and action items to get out of your comfort zone.Authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider turned the dating world upside down with their 1995 bestseller "The Rules," telling women that they needed to play hard to get to reel in Mr. In their new book, "The Rules For Online Dating," they apply their relationship advice to cyberspace providing a list of do's and don'ts for successful computer romances. The title of their book explains its whole premise: "The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr.Let me set the scene: I’m out for drinks with two of my best girlfriends. In fact, when my friend offered to let me borrow her copy, I was excited.You may want a mover and shaker at 25 and a soulmate at 40.” But whatever age their client, she will be advised to have long, straight hair. In your thirties it’s suicide to do that.” “They break every Rule,” Fein roared. It was like watching a funeral.” Schneider’s 16-year-old daughter knows The Rules “instinctively”, she says. Women go on dates and ask men their astrological sign, his five-year plan, ‘here’s my phone number and e-mail’, tell him about past relationships, losing a job: the date becomes therapy. Men will marry the girl who doesn’t give them the time of day.” What’s feminist about insisting on short skirts and busty tops? Until he proposes he has the power to hurt you by never calling, by sleeping with you and never calling.

the rule book for dating-83the rule book for dating-54the rule book for dating-3the rule book for dating-22

could be condensed to its intended straight female audience thus: “Never pursue, be pursued”.But that was 1995, and this is now, the era of Facebook, texting and naked photo messages that dissolve in seconds. Every chapter comes with a plethora of capital letters: Don’t Sext or Send a Guy Anything You Wouldn’t Want Him To Have If You Broke Up; Stay Away From His Facebook Profile. It’s not anti-feminist, or trickery, you’re just in control,” says Schneider, who at 53 still has long, glossy brown hair, tight jeans and is a UK size 8.What could Schneider and Fein possibly have to say to this generation? The new rules contain such advice as not to put it all “out there” on social media (“like walking around naked”), with videos of you having sex ending up online, and not to respond to late night calls, texts or “booty calls” (“We don’t answer the phone after 10.30pm,” Schneider says). After four e-mails if he hasn’t asked you out, forget it. Age governs how quickly you reply to texts: a 20-year-old should leave it an hour, a 50-year-old four hours. She works out every day and hasn’t had surgery or Botox: “I drink lots of water.” Schneider and I meet at a Bloomingdale’s store in New Jersey where she meets clients, “high-powered women” who spend 0 (£220) an hour, or

could be condensed to its intended straight female audience thus: “Never pursue, be pursued”.

But that was 1995, and this is now, the era of Facebook, texting and naked photo messages that dissolve in seconds. Every chapter comes with a plethora of capital letters: Don’t Sext or Send a Guy Anything You Wouldn’t Want Him To Have If You Broke Up; Stay Away From His Facebook Profile. It’s not anti-feminist, or trickery, you’re just in control,” says Schneider, who at 53 still has long, glossy brown hair, tight jeans and is a UK size 8.

What could Schneider and Fein possibly have to say to this generation? The new rules contain such advice as not to put it all “out there” on social media (“like walking around naked”), with videos of you having sex ending up online, and not to respond to late night calls, texts or “booty calls” (“We don’t answer the phone after 10.30pm,” Schneider says). After four e-mails if he hasn’t asked you out, forget it. Age governs how quickly you reply to texts: a 20-year-old should leave it an hour, a 50-year-old four hours. She works out every day and hasn’t had surgery or Botox: “I drink lots of water.” Schneider and I meet at a Bloomingdale’s store in New Jersey where she meets clients, “high-powered women” who spend $350 (£220) an hour, or $1,500 for a package makeover of hair, wardrobe and advice: “They’re upset, they haven’t had a boyfriend for years or haven’t been proposed to.

She divorced her first husband Paul Feingertz, citing abandonment, in 2000 after 16 years of marriage; she has a daughter aged 21 (“She grew up naturally doing . He thought it was cute and funny.” “We have a lot of clients who are divorced and we help them to remarry,” says Schneider brightly. “And if a man doesn’t like your look, he’ll leave you for a girl whose look he does like,” Fein says. “If a woman does what she wants — whether talking to a guy or eating a piece of cake — it is the antithesis of discipline,” Schneider says. “They think they have all the time in the world,” says Schneider.

“You can be married, then want a different kind of husband. “Many women are doing what they want and failing miserably, having one-night stands and so on. “You’ll sleep with guys, get hurt, but you won’t lose fertility years. — and then having sex with a guy who didn’t respect her. The problem is women think they can do in the romantic arena what they do in a corporate arena.

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could be condensed to its intended straight female audience thus: “Never pursue, be pursued”.But that was 1995, and this is now, the era of Facebook, texting and naked photo messages that dissolve in seconds. Every chapter comes with a plethora of capital letters: Don’t Sext or Send a Guy Anything You Wouldn’t Want Him To Have If You Broke Up; Stay Away From His Facebook Profile. It’s not anti-feminist, or trickery, you’re just in control,” says Schneider, who at 53 still has long, glossy brown hair, tight jeans and is a UK size 8.What could Schneider and Fein possibly have to say to this generation? The new rules contain such advice as not to put it all “out there” on social media (“like walking around naked”), with videos of you having sex ending up online, and not to respond to late night calls, texts or “booty calls” (“We don’t answer the phone after 10.30pm,” Schneider says). After four e-mails if he hasn’t asked you out, forget it. Age governs how quickly you reply to texts: a 20-year-old should leave it an hour, a 50-year-old four hours. She works out every day and hasn’t had surgery or Botox: “I drink lots of water.” Schneider and I meet at a Bloomingdale’s store in New Jersey where she meets clients, “high-powered women” who spend $350 (£220) an hour, or $1,500 for a package makeover of hair, wardrobe and advice: “They’re upset, they haven’t had a boyfriend for years or haven’t been proposed to.She divorced her first husband Paul Feingertz, citing abandonment, in 2000 after 16 years of marriage; she has a daughter aged 21 (“She grew up naturally doing . He thought it was cute and funny.” “We have a lot of clients who are divorced and we help them to remarry,” says Schneider brightly. “And if a man doesn’t like your look, he’ll leave you for a girl whose look he does like,” Fein says. “If a woman does what she wants — whether talking to a guy or eating a piece of cake — it is the antithesis of discipline,” Schneider says. “They think they have all the time in the world,” says Schneider.“You can be married, then want a different kind of husband. “Many women are doing what they want and failing miserably, having one-night stands and so on. “You’ll sleep with guys, get hurt, but you won’t lose fertility years. — and then having sex with a guy who didn’t respect her. The problem is women think they can do in the romantic arena what they do in a corporate arena.

,500 for a package makeover of hair, wardrobe and advice: “They’re upset, they haven’t had a boyfriend for years or haven’t been proposed to.She divorced her first husband Paul Feingertz, citing abandonment, in 2000 after 16 years of marriage; she has a daughter aged 21 (“She grew up naturally doing . He thought it was cute and funny.” “We have a lot of clients who are divorced and we help them to remarry,” says Schneider brightly. “And if a man doesn’t like your look, he’ll leave you for a girl whose look he does like,” Fein says. “If a woman does what she wants — whether talking to a guy or eating a piece of cake — it is the antithesis of discipline,” Schneider says. “They think they have all the time in the world,” says Schneider.“You can be married, then want a different kind of husband. “Many women are doing what they want and failing miserably, having one-night stands and so on. “You’ll sleep with guys, get hurt, but you won’t lose fertility years. — and then having sex with a guy who didn’t respect her. The problem is women think they can do in the romantic arena what they do in a corporate arena.

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