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He seemed genuinely relieved and said he felt more secure.
But on the off chance it would crush your wife to be told everything, just tell her about Ms. After a few tense years, we started couples therapy.
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On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I'm having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. And these women didn't "turn into" one-year, three-year, seven-month, and four-months-and-counting affairs on their own.
You say you love your wife, but you also say she'd be crushed—destroyed—if she discovered what you've been doing.
Be honest, ASSHOLE, just this once: Is the destruction of your wife a bug or is it a feature? Because cheating on this scale isn't about succumbing to temptation or reacting to neglect.